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After dinner, we go at it again until we fall asleep about 11 p.m." Martha was somewhat taken aback. " "I'm a rabbit in Arizona." Slow Down One day a policeman stopped a motorist who had just gone through a four way stop sign and was about to give him a ticket when the motorist said. The officer then pulls out his batton and starts hitting the motorist. Jail Mail A prisoner in jail receives a letter from his wife: "Dear Husband, I have decided to plant some lettuce in the back garden. " The prisoner, knowing that the prison guards read all mail, replied in a letter: "Dear Wife, whatever you do, do not touch the back garden. Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, we'll but try to have them fixed before we arrive.
They just made a movie about it." The teacher answered quickly, "That would be the Titanic." St. " Fortunately for him, the trash man had just seen the movie and answered, "About 1,500." "That's right! " The Engineer said, "In the neighborhood of 5,000 a year, depending on the benefits package." The interviewer said, "Well, what would you say to a package of 5 weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every 2 years - say, a red Corvette? There were two lovers, who were really into spiritualism and reincarnation. How do you know when a blonde has been in your fridge? Q: What is the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported: There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane..." After landing: "Thank you for flying Delta Business Express. I'm married to my career, although recently we have been considering a trial separation. (Bonus reply for Single Mothers) Because having a husband and a child would be redundant. If you throw a cat out a car window, does it become kitty litter? If corn oil comes from corn, where does baby oil come from? If there is no God, who pops up the next kleenex in the box? " "Yes, sir," replied the young guy, "but my friend back there, well, he don't have one." Jesus is watching you One night a burglar is trying to break into a house. So now the burglar is really looking around, and he sees a parrot in a cage by the side of the house. " The parrot answers "Yes I did." So the burglar asks, "What's your name? Q : How can you tell a blonde has been in the bathroom? God answered: A million years is like a minute. Then the man asked: God, how much is a million dollars to you? He's sneaking across the lawn when he hears a voice - "Jesus is watching you! " The parrot says "Clarence." The burglar says "What kind of stupid idiot would name his parrot Clarence? A : There is make-up all over the mirror Q : What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you? And God replied: A million dollars is like a penny. Finally, the man asked: God, could you give me a penny? Why do they put braille on the number pads of drive-through teller machines? " " Aw, don't matter" replied the neighbor, " Only gonna be the two of us". She calls up the place to check her husband's story. He kept thinking to himself, "Wouldn't it be great if she would even just come down and talk to me? All of a sudden he looked up, and the beautiful woman was standing right over him. The airline had a policy which required the first officer to stand at the door while the passengers exited, smile, and give them a "Thanks for flying XYZ airline." He said that in light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking the passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart comment. " The little old lady said, "Did we land or were we shot down? Golden Saloon A guy comes home completely drunk one night. They started talking and she invited him back to her place. At seven o'clock the next morning he woke up and exclaimed, "Oh no!!! " He gathered all his clothes, put them on real fast, grabbed his bucket, and ran out the door. Finally evryone had gotten off except for this little old lady walking with a cane. " After a real crusher of a landing in Phoenix, the Flight Attendant came on with, "Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats until Capt.
A minute passes, and the boy still deep in prayer with his head down. A: The dumb blonde got it because the other two are fictional Yo' Mama's so Short......... I stepped in her front door and came out through the back. she remembers the Alamo she knew Ronald Mc Donald when he was in clown school scientists claim she's the missing link she lived at the Gettysburg address her birthday expired she has an autographed copy of the bible when I told her to act her age, she dropped dead she remembers turning tricks for a nickel she's in Jesus's yearbook! Dogged lawyer A lawyer's dog, running about unleashed, beelines for a butcher shop and steals a roast.